


Take your Wine, and Drink it Fine

by ObtuseOctopus



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied Sexual Content, Psychic Abilities, References to Depression, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2020-03-26 17:07:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19010116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObtuseOctopus/pseuds/ObtuseOctopus
Summary: There is a very rare occurrence in which descendants of witches and wizards are blessed with a power beyond science itself, a gene that skips tens if not hundreds of eons and appears only once in a blue moon. Rarer yet that those with these powers are born in the same generation.Lapis was born with two abilities, relating to her self conscious and self security as she battles with finding her freedom. Pearl was born with the ability to know when she would need to say goodbye to a friend as she struggles to stay on course with her idealistic path of adulthood.Knowing that they aren’t ordinary people and that mysterious abilities tie together in mysterious ways, life just got a whole lot strange.





	1. Hot Cocoa and Coffee

One more time. Just... this one last time, or so she had promised herself.

 

Being born with some sort of extraordinary power wasn't a choice. It was genetic, dating back to the days of people being accused as witches. Said powers skipped tens of generations, hundreds even. To be born with such an ability felt like a blessing but also a curse.

 

One more time. She could get this right.

 

The ability to jump through time itself felt like a burden- if she so did as little as breathe in the wrong direction, she could end up in a whole new reality. And every time she used her ability, it exhausted her.

 

But she wanted to do this. She had to. One more time. She could've sworn that she had found someone who was just as cursed as she was...

 

The blue haired girl inhaled deeply through her nostrils, the snow falling like mindless feathers of soft whites and silvers. The air was thick with the smell of evergreen trees, and Christmas was around the corner. She could envision fresh cookies on a platter served with a refreshing glass of milk, stockings warmed by the fire, the family pet curled up on the mat fast asleep, but she couldn't get distracted. She had to know... She had to know...

 

Lapis steadied her feet into the snow, grounding herself like she didn't know if gravity would suddenly reverse. Although shivering, she had to find the right place, the right seam, to cut through and fracture time. And once she found it, she had to focus. One small slip up, and she could fracture a bone, puncture a lung, or cause a splitting migraine to herself. Time powers were weird, but the cons and benefits both outweighed each other in a violent struggle for power like a lion and unicorn over the crown.

 

One more time...

 

She needed to go back to the previous day, to see that one girl again. There was something odd about the way she moved, the way she spoke, the way she observed.

 

Lapis held her breath.

 

Then, she jumped into the air, her body disappearing as a light blue light enveloped her whole. And not a single pair of footprints formed anew in the snow where she should've landed if she was just an average human being. She had completely vanished into thin air.

 

\---------

 

Writing letters to loved ones always was difficult when you knew how they'd die and exactly when. You couldn't just write that you loved someone despite the times they yelled at you and then say good luck getting hit by a red minivan at the stroke of midnight after getting drunk on vodka. People thought she was crazy. People thought that she was insane. But Pearl knew better than to say anything out loud or try to reason. She could be framed, labeled, or worse if anybody found out what she could do. She could handle being called a nerd or a weirdo simply for worrying too much or doing odd things like watering the plants at a certain time to help veer away someone's destined path of dying and keep them alive a moment longer.

 

However life worked was fussy; even Pearl didn't know the answer to when life began or when death ended, or life ending and death beginning, or life stalling and death hurrying. Ever since she was little, she could see a billion futures when someone touched her. When her mother had held her, she saw futures where her mother got robbed and then stabbed, hit by a train, fell to her death, or committed suicide. And when her friends would pat her on the back and say congrats, she saw threads where said friend got murdered, buried alive, poisoned, hit, smacked, hung, and all other worse things. If she didn't do this, then that would happen or that wouldn't happen. If she didn't do that, the same applied. It was forever a hell of too much knowing, and not enough guessing.

 

But she kept writing. It was the holidays after all. And it wasn't unlike her to suddenly miss out on anything to do with the families and friends. As she finished writing her letter to her mother, who was currently away from Beach City down in California at a business meeting that would last another two weeks, she then put the written letter into an envelope, and sealed it. She could mail it tomorrow morning when the snowfall died down.

 

Letting out a sigh of relief as she had finished her daily chores for the day, Pearl didn't know what to do before bedtime in an hour. She worked on a schedule, just like death and its assigned times. It came when it was time, and she worked just like it did, planning her days ahead of time and planning when she would eat or sleep. Having a schedule, as she was convinced, was a way to help her keep order in her life, and give her at least come control if not all.

 

... The coffee shop should be open for another half hour. And they also served hot cocoa at twenty percent off during the holiday season. Something warm to relax her throat and ease her mind sounded delicious. Scrumptious, if paired with a cookie treat. Snickerdoodle or sugar, was the question. Perhaps sugar to avoid all the extra flavors that collided with cocoa.

 

Going with the idea, Pearl stepped away from her desk and walked out into her hall, grabbing her pink winter coat off of the rack. She threw it on, along with a pair of boots at the door, and then stepped outside into the cold world, locking the door behind her with her apartment key.

 

The drive was short, as town wasn't that far away, and the streets were decorated in Christmas cheer. Stores and shops were lined with lights in greens or blues and reds, and some even had images of penguins or reindeer painted onto the windows for all to see. The coffee shop had an inflatable snowman in the front, and a parking spot lay waiting for her by it.

 

She parked, shooting a glance at the time on her dashboard. Nine fifteen PM. The coffee shop closed in fifteen minutes hence the availability of parking spaces. Snow fell gently from the sky like feathers molting off of a giant swan, and as Pearl stepped out of her parked vehicle, she zipped up her coat. When she entered the shop, the bell jingled above the door to welcome her inside. It was warm, and the aroma of cocoa and coffee beans was almost enough to help lull her to sleep. Most of the baked goods that were usually displayed in the glass case were almost all gone, due to the employees in the shop putting them away for tomorrow already.

 

Pearl made her way up to the register to order, telling the barista that she wanted a small white hot chocolate with extra whip cream. The drink was easily made within less than five minutes after she paid, and she was told that she could stay until she had finished her drink or could leave whenever before that. Pearl thanked the barista, and sat down at a table near the window to enjoy her beverage. She brought her phone out to scroll through her social media, checking the notifications. Even if the device was still somewhat new to her, she still was determined to get the hang of this phone business. Before, she used to have a laptop. It was… fascinating how all the data in that could be now in a smaller device.

 

She took a sip of her hot beverage, noting the jingle of the bell above the door had rang to announce that someone else had walked in. Pearl momentarily glanced back over her shoulder to see who it was, and nearly choked on the chocolatey liquid that she was swallowing, for in walked in probably one of the most captivating people that she had seen; dyed pink hair in tight curls, a face that reminded her of a gentle border collie, a simple white dress that matched the color of the snow outside, and lashes that were softer than bird down. If love at first sight existed, then this was it.

 

Pearl didn’t mean to stare, but she watched the woman for a bit, watching her order a coffee before she forced herself to turn back around and focus on her phone again. It was hard to. She took another sip of her hot cocoa, her blue eyes going back to staring at her phone.

 

That only lasted a few good seconds before she realized that the woman that she had been staring at prior had taken a seat in front of her, right across from her at the table. Pearl almost choked on her drink again. She really needed to stop doing that. She fanned her mouth, looking embarrassed as her cheeks tinted in rose pink once she managed to finally swallow. “Excuse me-  I-” Pearl stammered.

 

The woman across from her chuckled, her curly hair bouncing lightly as she did so. “You’re excused,” she assured with a small smile. “I should be the one apologizing. I didn’t realize that you were busy.” Her voice was like warm honey dripping down into a cup of caramel. “I can leave if you want me to. I couldn’t help but notice you staring and thought I could meet someone new.”

 

Pearl wiped her mouth off with a napkin that she had grabbed from the middle of the table, trying to present herself as more well-mannered. “No, it’s no worry, I wasn’t even busy, really, I was just… browsing,” she admitted back, gesturing to her phone. “I’m still trying to figure these things out.” She cleared her throat rather awkwardly. Then, struggled for a second before holding a hand out. “My name is Pearl. Pearl Davis- my mother works at Davis Industries, the nursing and hospitality services.”

 

The woman across from her nodded, reaching out to shake her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Pearl,” she said. “I’m Rose.”

 

And at that moment, Pearl realized that she had made a mistake of letting someone physically touch her. But it was too late to take it back, and if she did now, she would come off as ill-mannered and make a fool of herself. Well, a bigger fool than the fool she had already made out of herself.

 

Pearl froze in her place as the jolt surged through her body, beginning from her hand and ebbing out to her head. The sound of a baby crying and the image of someone she didn’t know struck her head, lasting only a second before it disappeared quickly. And before the handshake ended, another flash took over. She saw the image of red roses on a tombstone, as well as the sound of a nurse requesting something. It all became faint and broken up, and Pearl hadn’t even realized that she had froze until Rose asked if she was alright, helping her back into reality.

 

“Pearl, are you alright?” Rose questioned, raising a concerned brow at her. The handshake had ended, the other having her hands in her lap.

 

“I…” Pearl shook her head, holding the temple of her forehead with one hand. “Oh. Yes- yes, uh- it was… just a headache,” she thought up a quick excuse. “I… get migraines. The light in here is _really_ setting it off-”

 

“We could leave if it’d help,” Rose offered, getting up to go fetch her drink that was ready for pickup.

 

“Oh, no! No, no, it’s fine. I’ll get over it,” Pearl tried to assure. “It’s not that major. I will be fine.”

 

“Are you sure?” Rose asked, returning to the table.

 

“Yes, I’m sure,” Pearl flashed a lopsided smile. She took a long sip of her hot cocoa, wiping her mouth again afterward with a napkin. She had just made the biggest fool of herself. Her body felt like she was going to faint, and only then did she begin to dread anxiety existing. “I have to go, but-”

 

“Oh?” Rose looked dumbfounded.

 

“I’m sorry. It’s just that it’s getting late and you know, when it gets late everything gets dark and I have a long drive-” Pearl tried to explain, even if most of it was a lie.

 

“Oh, I understand. It’s alright,” Rose said. “If you have to go, don’t let me stop you.”

 

Pearl nodded in response, getting her cup as she stood up. “Perhaps… we will meet another time and talk?” She hoped.

 

“I’d like that,” Rose agreed.

 

Pearl nervously laughed. “Great! Yes, that’s… yes, that would be great.” She nearly tripped as she backed away from the table, still facing Rose. “I look forward to seeing you again-” She turned back around, and nearly had her head hit the glass doors. She heard Rose chuckle, and Pearl just flashed another lopsided grin back at her before she properly began to leave the building with her drink _without_ nearly smacking into anything. “Happy holidays!” She called, stepping outside back into the snowy world.

 

Taking a moment to clear her throat and take a deep breath in, she did her best to forget the event. Pearl stood straight and brushed off her shoulders with the hand that was free of holding her drink, getting specks of fallen snow off of herself. She used her phone to check the time real quick, then began to make her way over to her car with her face buried into her social media.

 

And that was when she actually did smack into something due to not paying proper attention.

 

Though, it wasn’t her vehicle. Nor a telephone pole, or a building wall, nor a fence or Christmas decoration. It was a person who looked like they were in a hurry. Pearl got some of her hot chocolate spilled onto her coat in the collision, and she let out a grumble of annoyance. At least the beverage hadn’t been dark chocolate nor too hot…

 

“Excuse me-” Pearl mumbled at the person who had ran into her, collecting her cup off of the sidewalk. The woman that she had run into, someone with short dark blue hair, looked surprised as they stared down at her. Pearl dusted herself off once again, and momentarily glanced down at the spilt hot cocoa on her coat. However, when she had looked back up, the woman was gone. Where…? “Hey-!” She called out, glancing around. When she saw nobody, and nothing, she scratched her head with her free hand. Ugh. It must’ve been some idiot… Grimacing, she finally continued to her car, and turned on the engine after buckling herself in once inside the vehicle.

 

She was tired for now, and so she simply headed home without thinking too much into it.

 


	2. Enter, the Water Witch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // •Chapter contains;   
> Depression themes(like thoughts and some unhealthy coping mechanisms) mature themes, nothing explicit however. •

_ Shrrrrrip. _

 

Another yellowed page was rather viciously torn from the book, falling to the floor like a powerless feather, fluttering, cascading the last moments of the words inked onto its surface.

 

_ Shrrrriiip. _

 

Two more pages were quick to join the first that had fallen, the ground being the crib that collected the trash.

 

_ Shrrrip. _

 

_ Shrriip. _

 

The candle lit in the dark dormitory of the dweller was only a mere guide in the black, the glow like the battling sun being devoured by an eclipse.

 

_ Shrrrip. _

 

The pages unfit to live on were mowed down, their information now rendered useless.

 

But the pages that remained, the ones that proved to carry some worth and knowledge to keep, those were the ones that were burnt up only in the midst of the performance.

 

…

 

Piano.

 

A gentle voice, a mother’s wiegenlied.

 

Out steps onto the stage, a woman who bore short blue hair in the shade of the deepest oceans. Her face is coated with dark eyeshadow, the imagery of pale blue tears leaking down from her eyes. Her lipstick is black, and her eyeliner could kill.

 

_ “See through my eyes, _

_ Dwell and reflect your guise, _

_ The mire meaning dies, _

_ Shredded in black bloodied skies, _

_ You wander trudging through the lies.” _

 

The tone is sad and somber, the color gray would paint over it in strokes of rough skin colored by sharp paint.

 

_ “Meet your demise, _

_ Words unspoken,  _

_ Words withheld, _

_ Repent and pray your mind to meld, _

_ Drowning,  _

_ Dreaming, _

_ Dying, _

_ Suff-o-cat-ing, _

_ Your chest compacts but your words stay afloat, _

_ To survive hold your skin, _

_ Your teeth, _

_ Your bones, _

_ Your heavy heart and mortal weight of sin. _

_ Oh, oh. _

_ Caress my cheek and whisper softly, _

_ Don’t remind me that you’re in frivolous pain, _

_ Because here what I see is just a fun time game, _

_ A game that we all will eventually one day die in. _

_ … Lifetime stays fairly short.” _

 

Now it begins to pick up the pace, the calm atmosphere turning into one of flames. The piano halts, and in enters the drum and the guitar, the beat and rhythm. This isn’t entirely a sweet song to lull to sleep, it is an anthem, a soliloquy.

 

_ “I am the utmost ringmaster, _

_ I rule the entire circus show, _

_ Crack of my whip,  _

_ Got the entire glow, _

_ From the monkeys to the tigers, _

_ It’s all gonna blow, _

_ We pay a price to smile but are let down once again, _

_ Because here what I see is just a fun time game, _

_ It’s a game that we all will eventually die in.” _

 

The woman singing has a ball as she feels the power of her words course through her veins. The spiked wristbands around both her arms show a deadly sight to pair with the sharp choker on her neck, a thin blue dress like feathers over her body.

 

_ “Your contract is in, _

_ Got your signature sent, _

_ But to back out of this predicament you gotta get bent, _

_ Hell is horrid but you ain’t seen the walls in my head,  _

_ Recount the seams, _

_ The obscene obscurity of dreams remaining by a thread, _

_ Hoping for a new day but enduring yet again a nighttime dread, _

_ Your hopes go up only to come back down dead, _

_ Waiting for tomorrow yet crying over your sorrow, _

_ Because here what I see is just a fun time game, _

_ It’s a game that we all will eventually die in. _

_ It’s all just a game, _

_ Yeah oh it’s just a game, _

_ A game, _

_ Oh, oh, oh oh. _

_ A game, _

_ A game, _

_ To see what you became…” _

 

The punk rock dwindles back down to a piano medley near the end of the verse, and for a moment, it’s only the piano that carries the soul of the piece.

 

_ “Win or lose, you’re stacking up fame, _

_ Making deals left and right with that handsome dear Devil, _

_ Promising your debt to all be erased away only to learn that your weight plungers hazy, _

_ Happiness is a suicidal structure,  _

_ Society has it painted on multiple walls to ponder; _

_ Money buys you your happiness, _

_ But if you’re dead broke with an empty name, how the hell are you making it out here surviving? _

_ Here what I see is just a fun time spinning game, _

_ It’s a game that we all will eventually die in.” _

 

There is passion that decorates her voice. It grows from being peaceful to aggressive, then alluring then near a plea for help. Her voice is artistry, and she is the painter that is adding on each stroke, each new layer, over the work.

 

_ “Die in, _

_ Die in, _

_ Cry in, _

_ Lie in, _

_ Stay in, _

_ Drown in. _

_ Drowning, _

_ Dreaming, _

_ Suff-o-cat-ing… _

_ Because here what I see is only a fun time game, _

_ It’s a game that we all will eventually die in. _

_ Here what it is is a simple little fun time game, _

_ It’s a game that we all will eventually die… _

_ In.”  _

 

But she isn’t yet done. As she draws out the last note, she stands tall to speak the last line.

 

_ “... Succumb.” _

 

She runs a hand through her hair, and the crowd begins to applaud. Whistles partake in the cheer, followed by the praise muddled altogether as an audible mess.

 

And although the applause is something to take pride in, to breathe in and feel pride in, the woman doesn’t feel much. She simply began to leave the stage to make way for the next act- a rather ambitious group of drummers- and took off the mic that she wore. The girl fled to backstage, where she took a sip of water from the drinking station and sat down in an empty chair to wait for the entire entertainment to wrap up.

 

People worldwide knew her as the Water Witch. But some knew her as Lapis Lazuli, if they cared enough attention to stalk her social media. Nineteen with no set plan in stone for her future, currently living off of the income she made when she attended and participated in various festivals and performances, entrancing many with her songs that focused around darker aspects of life in gritty verses.

 

It was thanks to personal experience that she had such a macabre view of life. Growing up, her father had committed suicide when she was seven, and her mother was a very strict rich woman whose morality came from the ass of a mule. Lapis had little freedom, but the music industry was where she believed that she had a chance to  _ fly. _

 

And… not only that was on her agenda of hopes and dreams, escapes from the real world.

 

_ That… girl last week…  _

 

Her unnatural ability to be able to reverse a time situation was one thing. But if it wasn’t for being able to not be seen when she wanted to as well? She more than likely would have messed up everything. Again.

 

This was technically the second timeline when it came to encountering that strange woman who had been at the coffee shop. Whenever she used her time jump, she made her own timelines. And whatever had been before her jump? Immediately was voided, never existed. In a sense, this was still the same first timeline. Just in a sense restarted from a certain checkpoint.

 

There were only two other times that she had time jumped. One in which almost killed her. Lapis had tried to see her father again by going back to when she was younger when she was thirteen, and nearly died. The other time being her very first discovery of such power, at age eleven when she had accidentally destroyed someone’s science project and went back to prevent the damage. She knew that shall she ever time jump again after jumping a week ago in order to correct her first encounter with the strawberry blonde girl, she could end her life for good.

 

The universe couldn’t hold up to all of her reckless jumping. Yet? The only reason she had gone back in the case of the strange girl was because prior, she had been the one to enter the shop first, and things… had been embarrassing for her.

 

_ It’s so… selfish! You could have DIED! Yet you went back and then she saw you AGAIN. But… at least now she doesn’t know you. It’s a new start. You didn’t spill hot chocolate on her… _

 

_ And she didn’t see you disappear. _

 

_ There… is someone like me. _

 

Her abilities were kept secret ever since she found them out for herself. She could guess she had enough energy for only one or two very small jumps. And she was saving those for in case if she suddenly disappeared again and someone publicly noticed it, or if she needed to avoid somebody who knew her secret.

 

_ But that girl… _

 

_ Could I trust her? _

 

_ Should I see her again? _

 

_ I didn’t even get her name… _

 

_ And I don’t even know if she remembers me after she bumped into me before I… disappeared . _

 

As she pondered, she managed to ask one of the other singers to borrow their makeup remover wipes, quietly rubbing off the makeup and face paint on her face once she acquired the items. Her mother didn’t like how she was ‘a part of the brainwashed generation’, and it would be better to have a clean face when she was picked up. Lapis made sure to get every color cleanly erased, using a mirror in the dressing room to see what she was doing.

 

Her fingers paused over her eyes as she worked on removing her eyeliner, the mirror catching the reflection of her eerie icy blue irises. As many times as Lapis tried, nobody believed when she said her eyes were pale blue. Everybody reported that they were dark blue. Even her mother and doctor. It was enough evidence having her believe that perhaps only she could see this eye color of hers. 

 

_ And that would explain the eyes of the girl… _

 

_ Because maybe only those with powers…- _

 

Lapis finished up, taking her spiked wristbands off as she threw away the used wipes. She left the remaining wipes in the pack upon the table where she had last seen the song artist that she had borrowed from, then began to head out, already wanting to leave although the performances as a whole were not yet over.

 

It was just an ordinary night when she had exited the building, and her stomach felt empty. Her throat was hydrated however, which she could be grateful for and thank the water stations backstage. Lapis checked her phone, sending a text message to her mother that she was ready to be picked up and taken back home.

 

Being nineteen with still no job and no place to call her own felt humiliating. She didn’t even have enough for an Uber or taxi unless she wanted to resort to seduction for payment. Multiple job applications had been sent with no response, all ironically because they didn’t like how she didn’t have any prior job experience. Fucking how if no place would take her and they wouldn’t even acknowledge the volunteer hours she did at these various singing festivals?! Lapis felt like she was falling behind most people at her age. Other people were in college. Other people had their own place, friends, parents who were… proud.

 

And all she had to make up for anything was a mother who was stern as a cow, money to her name only if she managed to sell an album as beforehand mentioned mother wouldn’t even lend a dime, and even then it wasn’t enough to get away from her current situation. Lapis felt disheartened.

 

She ended up waiting an hour before she spotted her mother’s vehicle coming up to the building. Lapis was shivering, having not much layers to fight against the cold. She was so relieved when she could finally step in to some warmth, buckling her seatbelt once seated in the passenger’s side. But there was only one setback.

 

“How was it?” Her mother questioned her, sounding stuck up. She would beat a wasp if she was placed into a contest of who was the biggest asshole.

 

“Hm?” Lapis pretended to play dumb as the car began to set course towards home.

 

“The Christmas music festival, you idiot.”

 

“... Oh. It was… fun.” Lapis kept her voice deadpan, giving a short shrug.

 

“Fun… Is that what you call your little monologues about self deprecation?” Her mother challenged boldly, stopping at a red light for a second. “It takes a real narcissist to talk about themselves on stage the way you do. At least you don’t plaster your name everywhere on merch that appeals to the mentally ill, that would be worse..”

 

“It’s not just about me, mother-“

 

“Then who is also involved in these songs you write? Did you get their permission before you run your mouth saying how much you want to die or how much life is only suffering for you? Back in my day, we didn’t have to do such ridiculous things to get where we were,” her mother ranted. “Nor did we say such ludicrous things… Back in my day, our songs were gorgeous and had meaning.”

 

Lapis rolled her eyes, staring out the window and watching the snow.

 

“Girls used to sing about the most beautiful things, you know.”

 

“... I know, mom.”

 

“It’s  _ mother _ if you want to address with a proper tongue.” The lights of the freeway came into view. “If you want to make it anywhere in your life, you should sing happier. You shouldn’t be such an absolute brat spitting about horrible things. You make people want to die.”

 

_ Like me? _

 

_ … Most of my music isn’t even THAT depressing. _

 

Lapis began to tune out her sour parent throughout the rest of the drive, counting snowflakes.

 

_ A narcissist… _

 

_ Psh. _

 

_ I’m not THAT…-. _

 

“- And Lapis? Do watch yourself as you exit the vehicle. If you slip on any of the ice out here, it’s going to be more damaging than the holes already in your brain that today’s generation has rotted you with.”

 

Lapis grumbled under her breath. She unbuckled her seatbelt before she opened the door and jumped out of the parked car, lightly slamming shut the door behind herself. She waited until her mother approached their front door first, then she followed suit.

 

Their house was… a mansion, to put it bluntly, no sugar coating necessary. Her mother was rich, so of course their property was impressive, if not their car which was only a dumb van.

 

Lapis personally hated it. Though she had what some could only dream of, the hallways echoed and groaned with poor posture, the shadows a grim reminder of how far behind she was, the rooms as empty as her future for now.

 

She began to head for her room, her mother going to prep some tea for herself. The music festival was able to provide a form of escapism from a life like this, but now that she lacked such excitement, Lapis felt empty, hollow, once more.

 

_ And that girl… _

 

_ Certainly even she doesn’t feel like this… Powers or not.  _

 

_ If I’m not mistaken. _

 

Loneliness was her drug that she took in very high doses. And when settled in the dread of monophobia, often she found that she would distract herself with other things.

 

One such thing included inviting over a certain somebody that had taken an interest to her at one of her last performances. It was… yes, unhealthy, and even she knew, but she was  _ desperate _ .

 

_ Powerful and neglected.  _

 

_ What else can I do? _

 

_ God… Jasper isn’t even a fan of my songs. She didn’t even know my stage name. _

 

_ We just… kind of… _

 

They were friends- acquaintances?- with benefits, simple as that. Jasper started being invited over a little under two months ago, and they would just… do their thing then split in the morning before Lapis’ mother could find out. They hadn’t even been caught yet. There was no special connection, only the ease of some making out to forget old wounds. The memories would only be back to haunt in the morning light.

 

But until then…

 

Lapis sent a text to Jasper once she reached her room upstairs, closing the door.

 

* * *

  
  


“... Is it okay to keep doing this?” 

 

The sky was deeply pitched in black, coated by a raven’s feathers in an illuminated sky lit by the crescent moon peering through the glass window. Clouds of wispy silver rode in the breeze, horses of the night tamed galloping in soft strides. Snow continued to fall, cascading silver that melted into white.

 

“You tell me, princess _. _ ”

 

In the quiet room of the large mansion, into the flickering yet dying flame of the fireplace was where many sins were being extinguished, then released into the world as smoky daydreams.

 

“But, I don’t know…” The young maid upon her soft and woolen bed crossed her legs, uncertain. Her mother was no doubt asleep by now, and the consequence for going behind her back would be cruel. Lapis gripped the sheets below her nervously, though this be the sixth secret meeting between her and the other.

 

“You don’t have to.” Her prince, a knight more like who was a woman in black and whose hair was as pale as sun-baked rye in the summertime, assured her as she loomed over her. Her eyes, warm caramel melting in dreamy hazel, were fixed on the smaller being beneath her, treating her softly like crumbled poetry. “Just focus on me, Lapis.”

 

Hailing from a noble mother with rich blood, to mix and mingle with a _commoner_ such as Jasper was a huge insult to her mother should they ever find out. _Should_ said mother ever find out. The apple was too sweet to ignore, the taste of freedom a rebellious savor alluring to her tongue. Eve couldn’t ignore it. And neither could she.

 

If she couldn’t have love from her mother, then the unrequited taste would be obtained another way.

 

A desperate way.

 

There wasn’t even much harm to be done. Both parties even agreed that they weren’t anything special, their relationship was only one that consisted of the occasional conversation and late night sex.

 

Their hands clasped together in a warm hold, fingers wrapped and palms close. Lapis felt her breath clench in her throat, staying still as if the spell would be broken shall she stir in the slightest.

 

The pale-haired woman advanced, comforting Lapis with a warm kiss upon her cheek. “Should I continue?” Her request was humble, manners high although her status was mud-born.

 

And Lapis merely nodded, giving her permission. It was times like these that she didn’t have to worry about relying on her voice to get people to notice and like her. She didn’t have to open her heart up to someone and spill all her emotions. She didn’t even have to get out and socialize, get into the way of harm and trouble, risk an involuntary time jump should she be in a dangerous situation. Safe within her home, with a coping mechanism that would come through her window and caress her in meaningless kisses and touches, she didn’t need to put her head to deep subjects. The affection was temporary, but god did she desire and ever so long for it.

 

She wouldn’t disappear. And she would not time jump.

 

Though, even in the intimacy, the strange girl remained faintly in the back of her mind.


	3. The Pearls’ Planning

One of her letters to family finally had been responded to a week later after she had initially sent out her writings that winter night she had met Rose. Letters took their time to be mailed and received after all, then returned in a similar fashion. But at the very least, it was being mailed within the state, so it would be delivered back through a reply fairly quicker than other holiday mail.

 

Pearl opened up the envelope and began to read it by her window as she prepared a cup of hot cocoa for herself on the stove.

 

==

 

_ Dear Pearl R. Davis, my second born daughter and my most elegant; _

 

_ Thank you for your kind letter. Your father would be proud of your handwriting and amazing grasp on grammar. To answer your question about my business meeting thus far; it is doing fine. I have met so many wonderful coworkers and other nurses from the states, and I have learned new strategies and heard so many intriguing stories about various patients and their lives.  _

 

_ One nurse from Georgia has told me the tale about a little girl who has been fighting for her life ever since she had been four years old. She is seven years old now, and had been diagnosed with a heart disease. I can not disclose the exact information such as the disease or her name as it is private for her, but I can say that she has been fighting for her life, and fighting is what she is doing best.  _

 

_ It is stories like these that inspire me to stay on the path of my succession, proud to be a part of this community. Pearl, your sisters may have strayed into more of the clothing line industry, but I hope that you may find inspiration in what I do and in this letter to become my personal apprentice. You are my daughter after all. You will be naturally skilled as a nurse, and even beyond in the Davis Industry. I have high faith in you. _

 

_ You will have some time to think over this offer. But I wish to have an answer by the time I return. In the meanwhile, I have requested that you and your sisters plan on having a day out in the square of Empire City for the tree lighting ceremony and to get some Christmas deals. I think it would be a marvelous way to bring the family together even if I cannot currently be there. And you all can tell me about what kind of decorations are up this year, perhaps even snag a little something for your mother dearest? You don’t need to worry about emails or texting- heavens you know how I feel about texting, I’ve already contacted your sisters for you, Pearl. _

 

_ I hope you four enjoy the holiday season. I have sent two fifty to each of your individual bank accounts so that you may get a little something special this year. I’m always thinking of you, and I love all four of you. _

 

_ Sincerely,  _

_ Emilia Reef Davis _

 

==

 

Pearl was perplexed by the proposition. Her? To become the next heir to Davis Industries? Oh, she didn’t know what to think. Surely it would be an honor and the greatest of honors to be apprenticed under the wing of her mother, but at the same time? She still was unsure of what kind of path she exactly wanted to focus on. She could be a dentist or a nurse and stay to the kind of sights her mother had, or she could be like her fellow siblings and set a goal towards something outside the box, things like dance or music and sewing and beauty. 

 

And to have a day with her sisters in Empire City… oh, perhaps she could plan a dinner together too, with reservations at a restaurant that overlooked the sea or one most divine of foods at her own apartment. Christmas was coming up fast- next week in fact- and so was New Years soon after that like a dog chasing its tail, she had little time to work with but she still could pull something together no matter how last minute as long as she was organized. 

 

Unlike her mother who was highly against texting simply because of old world beliefs, Pearl knew that her sisters all had phones like her, and they would be kind enough to respond if she started messaging their group chat to ask questions to get things prepared and in order. She set down the letter from her mother upon the table, then turned off the stove once the water in the pot had come to a boil. From there, she continued to make the hot cocoa, pouring in the chocolate powder mix and slowly stirring it in until it dissolved. When finished, she fetched a mug from the cupboards, and poured the mixture in. After, she took a small sip to taste it. Perfect.

 

Pearl, satisfied with her homemade beverage, went to grab her phone, sending a text to her siblings to inform them of her ideas for the holiday season. She could not wait to see them again. Her fingers were nimble as she texted, her mug of hot cocoa not that far away from her. Although, she was a bit nervous, due to how memories of drinking hot chocolate now also carried the sweet sensation of that Rose girl....

 

**Davis Sisters! <3 Group Chat**

 

_ 12: 36 PM _

**> Pearl (Bird Nose): Funny, first of all, who changed my name to ‘Bird Nose’?**

 

_ 12: 37 PM _

**> Yelena (Yellow Duck): AHEM, and why am I YELLOW DUCK?**

**> BLAIRE?!?!**

 

_ 12:37 PM _

**> Blaire (Bluebird): It wasn’t me… aww I like my name… :)**

 

_ 12:37 PM _

**> Yelena (Yellow Duck): PETUNIA!!!???**

 

_ 12:38 PM _

**> Pearl (Bird Nose): Alright, we can deal with this later. I’ll change the names if it’s too big an issue.**

**> Right now, has anybody else received a letter from mother?**

 

Pearl somewhat missed the conversations that she would have with her sisters back before they all split off to do their own things; she had missed the laughs, the jokes, the sweetness. Their last text conversation had been over a month or two ago. Maybe even three, and could’ve been more had she never sent a text to engage them all again. Life had been just… simply busy. They hadn’t met in person for a long time either. It was also a surprise that they had responded in a quick time frame, excluding their oldest sister, who was probably busy with her own life right now and couldn’t respond.

 

_ 12:40 PM _

**> Blaire (Bluebird): I have…**

 

_ 12:40 PM _

**> Yelena (Yellow Duck): Oh no, DON'T tell me you actually want to do that tree lighting ceremony!!**

 

So mother had contacted them too. Although Pearl could have been certain that the letter made it sound like she didn’t… Or perhaps she did, and the wording of the letter was vague about it. Either way, they were informed of the event, and she had to pop the question properly and request what everyone had planned so that she could make a note of how to prep; homemade or restaurant dinner, their evening stroll…

 

She wanted this Christmas season to be one of the best, one she most certainly would never forget.


	4. New Dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> // • Chapter contains; references/mentions of depression, allude of religious talk/themes, parental guilt tripping/emotional abuse.

Art is an expression as most would say; it’s a way that people can convey their emotions, their thoughts, their feelings. It can be displayed in ways of twisted disparity or exhilarating excitement, it could be used to get across an inspiring message of the artist or to implement blindness of the sheep when the flock had to be heeded a certain direction. Let it be actual drawing, painting, or even sculpting and building; creation of a new object was what came of art, and with art came ideas to spark revolutions should the idea reign mighty.

 

But when ideas became little, blocked by the lack of inspiration and or a drive to create, it was hard to express anything within art. Nothing came upon the paper, nothing was dipped into a paint palette, all that there was dragged on the suspense of silence, a static among the mind of the creator who couldn’t find any spark to ignite. There was no creation to take pride in, no art to prosper. 

 

Lapis had been awake nearly all night now; stuck on the stupid piece of paper still blank in front of her. She had no ideas, nowhere to begin, and even when she did start on a doodle, she eventually got tired of it and crumpled it up to toss aside in a frustrated wreck. She would write down a word that would normally be awed by society, only to find a lack of meaning in it as it too was tossed out.

 

She felt like a total Opheliac; disillusioned, confused, and failing to capture the image she sought for on a loop of ribbon and thread. Her own mind was becoming its own enemy, and there was no Hamlet to blame for her descent into insanity, unless she could tear apart her brain to shreds to fully unearth the culprit and try to find the crime lord. 

 

A heavy sigh escaped her frame, dissolving into dissatisfaction as she returned to blankly staring down at her paper. Lapis couldn’t find the spark she was looking for. She had sight of it, but then lost it in the labyrinth long ago back when the Minotaur had bellowed her name. She had not made anything new for a long time now; and she could blame herself, she could blame others, she could blame outside forces around her outside of her but a part of her. Though in the end? Her lack of creativity was to be blamed upon her own unattainable riches, her happily ever after destroyed by a dragon whose claws were sharpened the moment its eye caught sight of the birth of fire. Once the village had been burned, the children crying out for repent, their local citizens and neighbors crying with tear-stained faces, all that remained was the land scorched and torn. There was no fertile land to grow upon. 

 

Lapis finally stopped staring at the paper on the table in front of her, her eyes casting a sideways glance at the time on the wall. It would be sunrise soon in just an hour or less. 

 

Her hand shifted, gripping tight into a fist. She couldn’t conjure up the seed to plant a flower with, and she lacked the fertilizer of ideas to grow it warmly into a beautiful creation. Her lips were dry, and her hair was slicked with grease that longed to be washed away. Like a dog who had been found abandoned and starving on the street, she was struggling to breathe. Her lungs were filling up with the prejudice of dead determination.

 

She tried to inspire herself, watch short videos or listen to music, yet no words came into the paper. She was dead of any start. 

 

A stir from her bed not that far away in her bedroom reminded her of Jasper’s presence. She paid no heed as she only listened; listened to the sound of the girl leaving her room through the window just before they could ever be caught together. Lapis made no move to stop her, she was in no right to. And surprisingly, she was astonished that she hadn’t gone blank yet, turned invisible or gave herself away. She grounded herself, biting her tongue.

 

A big chance in her life was again coming up, a chance to get somewhere in life, yet she found no inspiration to take the crown and aim her gun, shoot to kill, aim to fulfill. 

 

Minutes passed on like long awaited hours. The sun slowly painted the sky as it rose, light filtering through Lapis’ window. Her eyes burned, and her heart was empty. Her mind lay blank, empty of anything. Black.

 

“Lapis! Come down before the eggs get cold, you’ll miss your protein and get weak!”

 

How long had she been up? She didn’t know, she had lost connection with the world long ago.

 

“Lapis! Lapis Lorelei Lorenzo!”

 

Ugh, how she hated when her mother used her full name. Past her first, the name had no attachment, nothing special upon her. Besides, whose idea was it to have her name be all ‘L’s?

 

Lapis gave up on the paper, rubbing the temple of her forehead. She called it quits, throwing the blank sheet away in her waste bin. She didn’t even bother with getting dressed into something clean or tidying up her hair, more focused on getting downstairs before her mother got upset at her.

 

… Which, she still did about her hair and night clothes, but it was better than being late. She walked down the staircase, her eyes swollen red from lack of sleep, her body extra exhausted from she and Jasper’s sin the night before.

 

“What on earth are you wearing, child?” Her mother griped as she sat at the fancy dining table, a glass chandelier hung above proudly. A few people who her mother would hire to be temporary housemaids or nurses were already at work, making breakfast with the most appetizing of smells that Lapis now only found to make her nauseous.

 

“My pajamas…” Lapis yawned in reply as she sat down at the table, ignoring the nice maid who put a plate of fluffy pancakes down in front of her. She was too tired to eat. She felt bad for wasting food. Terrible, even.

 

“That’s utterly embarrassing.”

 

“I know, mom…”

 

“Keep up an attitude like that, and I’d have your teeth coated in Vaseline. Or perhaps nail polish- you should have a better smile, but with a tongue like that, I despise it,” her mother said.

 

Lapis glared. 

 

“Eat your food. No more than two pancakes unless you want to get fat,” her mother ordered.

 

Lapis pushed her plate away, feeling even more bad about the food. It wasn’t going to be eaten. Other people would have eaten it. It was a waste…

 

“Eat, Lapis. You’re going to be skinny as a stick if you don’t. And if you lack your nutrients, you’re going to look depressing at the lighting ceremony.”

 

_ The fuck do you want me to be?! You say don’t eat, then to eat-!  _

 

_ … Wait. Lighting ceremony? _

 

“We’re… going to that?” Lapis blurted. She knew better than to start a fight.

 

“Of course we are. The mayor invited me to come watch the lighting, and to put my two cents into it. He wants me there to make sure the tree looks nice before the town comes out to see it. And that means you are going to sing the opening for it.”

 

“Sing-?”

 

“Yes, you blithering fool. Sing! It’s the only thing you do best beside moan about how pathetic you are. Other children have it WORSE than you do, you know.”

 

“I know…”

 

“And yet, you cobble up your ridiculous songs about how sad you are. You have paradise compared to… oh I don’t know, children in orphanages. Be grateful that I didn’t leave you outside some firehouse in a cardboard box or leave you to die or up for adoption, a druggie could’ve gotten you,” her mother rambled.

 

_ Jesus Christ, mom….- _

 

Lapis ever so reluctantly tried one strip of bacon that was given to her, chewing on it slowly. She wished that she was born deaf.

 

“I also could have aborted you, you know. But? I didn’t, because I have a heart to raise a child no matter how much they whine. And it’s wrong to kill a child before they’re even born. I gave you life, remember that.” As her mother continued to pitch her… speech about whatever, Lapis silently wished that she hadn’t been born at all.

 

The minute she managed to force herself to eat a pancake and at least a bacon strip and some scrambled egg, Lapis excused herself and left the table. “I’m… going to get dressed,” she made up an excuse.

 

“Good. Take care of that messy hair of yours. Wash it and don’t forget the conditioner. You look like your father when you leave it ragged,” her mother called after her. 

 

Lapis gritted her teeth bitterly. She quickly ascended back up the stairs to her room, her body weightless and her eyes heavy. She wanted to cry. Her chest weighed her down. Her throat suffocated her. Her eyes watered. But no tears came out. 

 

_ So… stupid. _

 

_ This is why I’m so… scared of that girl… I messed it up the first time- but now it’s a clean slate. No memory of me. I get a second chance to not look like an idiot if she will be there too. _

 

_... I just want out of this… _

 

_ I guess I… just want somebody- a friend, someone who… doesn’t make me feel so crappy for existing. _

 

She closed the door, and took a look around her room. Although spotless, save for her messy bed, she knew that it was because she didn’t have the energy in the first place to mess it up. The window was open and her sheets were disorganized, but she didn’t care about that right now. She sat down in front of her door, her knees up to her chest and her eyes staring at the carpeted ground. The sunlight hit her as it remained shining in through her open window, but she didn’t care. 

 

How she even survived this long was beyond her. Sure she had fans who liked her music, her music persona, her albums and her recordings, but outside of that? Nobody liked her.

 

They loved her.

 

But they didn’t like her.


End file.
